A fellow walked into a store and asked the clerk for three pounds of Polish sausage. The clerk looked at him and said, “You must be Polish.” The customer was livid.
Mickey Mouse was deep in the middle of a terrible divorce from his wife, Minnie. As he was speaking to the judge regarding their separation, the judge cuts him off.
In the waning days of the Minnesota legislative session last May, a bipartisan panel of lawmakers tried to grind through a myriad a different spending bills with each one having reams of amendments to consider. One amendment to a health and human-service bill, “exempting cannabinoids derived from hemp,” passed on a unanimous voice vote.
Our friends in the U.K. are having a bugger of a time controlling their gray squirrel population. Those street-darting, bushy-tailed rodents native to North America were introduced to the British Isles in the 19th century. Slowly, but surely, the invasive gray squirrels have hobbled the native population of smaller red squirrels as the two battle for resources and space.
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
Buying an airline ticket has never been a guarantee, but these days, man, you’re really rolling the dice!