At Random
The Amendments!
You’ve heard a lot about the First Amendment over the last few weeks. In recent history, free speech in this country was virtually the exclusive rally cry of the Right.
Re-Elect Tom Chapman for Mayor
My first term has been a resounding success. Our city’s economy is booming and crime is down across the board.
Wisdom From Coach Bob Green
On his education: “I got a 6 on the ACT in 1967. One time I got an A and my grandma beat me for cheating.”
After Three Years, Still Missing Norm MacDonald
Nobody tells me what I can or can’t eat, least of all some guy who’s job is labeling packets of silica gel.
Rooster For Sale
A farmer places a sign at the end of his driveway that said, “Rooster For Sale.”
Months To Live
Ole went to the doctor because he was feeling a little sick.
NFL Predictions
My deepest apologies to the proud, resilient residents of Detroit for giving their resurgent Lions the 2025 Leuthold Kiss of Death.
Emotional Injury Due To Crack Barrel Logo Change?
The nation went through a period of extreme trauma in August. For an entire week, an American institution was unnecessarily thrown into a state of chaos.
2025 All-Name Team
Fresh off of an impressive win at the prestigious Duke’s Mayo Bowl, our Minnesota Golden Gophers will look to add to their streak of eight consecutive bowl victories—the longest in the nation.
Mike Gundy Kicks Things Off
“The only pressure I’m worried about is my tire pressure on these icy roads and when my wife asks if I’m almost home when I’m on hole 13.”
The Union Man
A dedicated Teamster boss is at a convention in Las Vegas and decides to visit a brothel.
The Old Cowboy
An old blind cowboy mistakenly wanders into an all-girl biker bar.
Sven And Ole At Work
Sven came over to help Ole put new siding on his house. They put on their nail aprons and grabbed their hammers.
Minnesota Fraud
Up here in flyover country, our Midwestern innocence has been shattered by the constant drum of fraud schemes exposed for the past two-plus years.
Scott Thompson: Fishing Guide
Hi, I’m Scott Thompson. I’ve been a guide on the Brainard area lakes for more than 25 years.
Another Satirical Article? C’mon Phil!
Back by tepid demand, another “Onion” attempt by your At Random editor!
Pete Rose Quotes
Current members of the Hall of Fame on the Veteran’s Committee will be able to vote on Rose’s membership in 2027.
Fatherly Advice
A man approaches a priest after mass. “Father,” he says, “I need some advice.”