At Random
NFL Predictions
My deepest apologies to the proud, resilient residents of Detroit for giving their resurgent Lions the 2025 Leuthold Kiss of Death.
Emotional Injury Due To Crack Barrel Logo Change?
The nation went through a period of extreme trauma in August. For an entire week, an American institution was unnecessarily thrown into a state of chaos.
2025 All-Name Team
Fresh off of an impressive win at the prestigious Duke’s Mayo Bowl, our Minnesota Golden Gophers will look to add to their streak of eight consecutive bowl victories—the longest in the nation.
Mike Gundy Kicks Things Off
“The only pressure I’m worried about is my tire pressure on these icy roads and when my wife asks if I’m almost home when I’m on hole 13.”
The Union Man
A dedicated Teamster boss is at a convention in Las Vegas and decides to visit a brothel.
The Old Cowboy
An old blind cowboy mistakenly wanders into an all-girl biker bar.
Sven And Ole At Work
Sven came over to help Ole put new siding on his house. They put on their nail aprons and grabbed their hammers.
Minnesota Fraud
Up here in flyover country, our Midwestern innocence has been shattered by the constant drum of fraud schemes exposed for the past two-plus years.
Scott Thompson: Fishing Guide
Hi, I’m Scott Thompson. I’ve been a guide on the Brainard area lakes for more than 25 years.
Another Satirical Article? C’mon Phil!
Back by tepid demand, another “Onion” attempt by your At Random editor!
Pete Rose Quotes
Current members of the Hall of Fame on the Veteran’s Committee will be able to vote on Rose’s membership in 2027.
Fatherly Advice
A man approaches a priest after mass. “Father,” he says, “I need some advice.”
Circus Adoption
A husband and wife who worked for the circus went to an adoption agency, but the social workers had doubts about their suitability.
Iran So Far Away
In June, much to the dismay of peaceniks on the left and ardent isolationists on the right, the U.S. dipped its toes into another foreign conflict. The success of that mission is still very much in question and, surprisingly, repercussions have been limited.
Three Finger Eddie's 5th of July Sale!
Keep that patriotic spirit going through the rest of the summer!
Golfer Max Homa Is A Funny Guy
Had a few caddies hit me up recently hoping to team up. They heard they usually get weekends off which is apparently a great selling point.
Another “Onion” Article
At a neighbor’s 45th birthday party last Friday, Dennis Murphy—the neighborhood jokester—couldn’t resist cracking, “Wow, Kevin, 45 years old! What was the Depression like, Grandpa?”
The Milkman
A woman read an article that claimed bathing in milk would make her skin beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons.
The New Doctors
Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.
Perception for the Professional
September 2025 Issue
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October 2025 Issue
