At Random
Cartoon of the Month - January 2023
"Give me $300 on Denver..."
Best of 2022
2022 is in the books! Asset classes of every sort took it on the chin as the worst inflation in a generation lingered like a fart in a hot car. But it wasn’t all bad, right?
Come back downtown… Please?
Hi, I’m Carl Jensen, President of the Downtown Council. I’m here to remind you that Downtown is ready and waiting for you to return!
When It's Enough Already...
From the makers of Children’s Ether comes the soothing aroma of Extra Strength Children’s Chloroform.
Practical Skills for Financial Service Professionals
You’ve dedicated your life to money management. Years of intense studying and work experience have narrowed the focus of your skill set. Your friends and family may have a vague idea of what you do at work, but they certainly know you’re not very useful when it comes to practical, real-world skills.
DPRK Pickleball Circuit
This Summer, the world’s elite Pickleball players converge on the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea to battle for the richest purse in the sport’s history.
Two Small Children
Do you suffer from bouts of severe anxiety? Are the threats of nuclear war, climate change, and new COVID variants too much to handle? Finally, a new treatment is available—ask your doctor if "Two Small Children" are right for you.
Cartoon of the Month - December 2022
"Man, a drink would really help..."
World Cup ‘22
Team USA’s participation in the World Cup has come to a disappointing end. I mean, aren’t we supposed to be #1 in everything?
At Random Holiday Liquor Sale
Thanks to a recent state legislature oversight, we now carry THC-infused beer! These brews are perfect for those who want an unsatisfactory experience with both intoxicants.
2022 Holiday Bingo!
It’s that time of year again! Shake out that sweater your wife tells you to wear because it’s time for the family holiday-party circuit.
Final Thoughts
Three members of the church Men’s Club were asked by their priest, “When you’re in your casket, and friends, family, and members of the congregation are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”
The Pedestrian
An eight-year-old boy was walking down the road when a car pulled up. “If you get in,” the driver said, “I’ll give you $10 and a piece of candy.” The boy refused and kept walking.
Up In Heaven
Jesus was strolling through Heaven when he saw an old man sitting on a cloud, staring into the distance. “Old man,” said Jesus, “This is Heaven! Why are you so sad?”
Relatively Speaking
Sven and Ole were sitting around talking over a few cold beers.
Cartoon of the Month - November 2022
Ballot Boxes
A Third Party?
Campaign season is mercifully drawing to a close next week. The currently pervasive attack and scaremongering ads will soon be replaced by good-old soda, truck, and insurance spots.
Patriarchal Tariffs i.e. “The Dad Tax”
Pursuant to I.R.C. § 4461 - dependents of any age must forfeit between 10-30% of any portion or all of their meals to their father upon request.
Bret Bielema
On values and standards in his program: “I love when I hear about these programs that have five goals posted up in the locker room. And No. 1 is no guns. Well, no s#!t.”
Taco Bell Bonanza
Inflation is bad, we all know that. But has it gotten so extreme that traditionally-inexpensive, fast food is now out of reach for most consumers?