At Random
The Rise Of The Inflatables
Has your neighborhood embraced giant, inflatable holiday decorations? Over the last ten years or so, there’s been a remarkable proliferation of those kitschy, bobbing nylon bags.
What An Election!
I am truly humbled to be re-elected as your representative in Congress.
North Korean Party Slogans
As we say farewell to the endless political attack ads here at home, let’s take a look at some good old-fashioned socialist-propaganda slogans produced by North Korea.
We Check In With Jerry Jones
“All I can say right now is that he looks good in the shower.”
The Eye Exam—From Alex Durbin
An old Polish man goes to the DMV to renew his license.
Getting Pulled Over
While on night patrol, a police officer noticed a late-model sedan progressing very slowly down the highway. The officer turned on his lights, and the sedan eased on to the shoulder.
Three Beers—From Doug Ramsey
A cowboy walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back room taking a sip of out each one in turn.
The Election Draws Nigh
We’re less than a month away from the fifth-consecutive “most important election of our lifetime.” I can’t believe I have to say this… but let’s hope for a peaceful outcome.
Re-Elect Cal Stevenson for Congress!
I thought I’d share with you that a growing number of psychologists and scientists believe that free will is an illusion.
I Miss Norm MacDonald
A heatwave striking New York is causing horse manure to spontaneously combust...
All-Name Congress
On the approval-rating continuum, for several decades the U.S. Congress has fallen between the rankings of prison food and diaper blow-outs. I get it, there’s plenty not to like about our Representatives and Senators.
The Lemon Bet
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man in town that it offered a standing $1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.
Ole’s Wagon
Ole is driving a wagonload of alfalfa to town when he catches a wheel in the ditch and the wagon overturns right in front of Sven’s farm.
A Blonde Joke
A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender...
NFL Predictions
My deepest apologies to the hippies, hipsters, vagrants, flagrants, and few remaining tech billionaires of San Francisco for giving their Niners the 2024 Leuthold Kiss of Death.
ATTENTION MEN IN THEIR 40’s AND 50’s
Hi, I’m record producer Jimmy Valentine. Yes, the Jimmy Valentine. And I’m going to make you a star!
2024 All-Name Team
I do not envy coaching staffs or athletic directors. This transfer window baloney for both players and teams is getting out of hand.
Jim Harbaugh Kicks Off The Season
On performance: “I truly believe the No. 1 natural steroid is sleep and the No. 2 natural steroid is milk, whole milk, and three would be water. Four would be steak. I take a vitamin every day—it’s called a steak.”
Fishing Down East
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Bar Harbor, Maine, man answered his door to find two grim-faced State Troopers.
The Older Couple
An elderly couple had been dating for some time. They finally decided it might be time for marriage. But before tying the knot, they went out for a long walk to talk about whether it would really work out.