It’s that time of year again when beautiful fall weekends are quickly ruined with these six words: “Let’s go to the apple orchard!”

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Hello, friends and neighbors, your humble Senator is asking once again for your vote.

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“After Momma gave birth to 12 of us kids, we put her up on a pedestal. It was mostly to keep Daddy away from her.”

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With the first few weeks of football season behind us, we now enter the furious finish of the election cycle.

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After having one of the worst days of his life, a husband sends this text to his wife.

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A man comes home with a sheep under his arm and says

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An 80-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting. When she was brought before the judge, he asked, Ma’am, what did you steal?”

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Ole was on his deathbed and called his wife Lena to his side.

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My deepest apologies to our fine readers in the Los Angeles sprawl for giving their heavily-favored Rams the 2026 Leuthold “Kiss of Death.”

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Your friends and neighbors at the Dee Lake Data Center are excited to invite you and your family to our first annual Labor Day Picnic!

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Fresh off an overtime win at the prestigious Rate Bowl, our Minnesota Golden Gophers will look to add to their streak of nine consecutive bowl victories this year—the longest in the nation.

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For only $150,000, you could own the Miss Chievious, a 1994 Skipperliner 5800 that played a starring role during one of the low points in Minnesota Vikings history.

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An Irish road crew was resurfacing a street that was home to a notorious brothel. A rabbi tipped his hat to the men and entered the house of ill repute.

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An old man enters the confessional. The priest slides open the partition, waits a few seconds, and finally says, “Tell me your sins, my son.”

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Lawns and residents have been baked to a nice golden brown up here in Minneapolis. Complaints about the summer heat have been frequent and annoying.

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Call 1-800-GET-PAID

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We’ve heard a lot of Rich Man/Poor Man jokes recently.

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The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals, and three-run homers.

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Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

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A man from Texas is vacationing in Seville and spends his day roaming around, taking in the sights. That afternoon, he goes to a fancy restaurant for a meal.

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