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At Random

Sep 05 2025

NFL Predictions

  • Sep 5, 2025

My deepest apologies to the proud, resilient residents of Detroit for giving their resurgent Lions the 2025 Leuthold Kiss of Death.

Sep 05 2025

Emotional Injury Due To Crack Barrel Logo Change?

  • Sep 5, 2025

The nation went through a period of extreme trauma in August. For an entire week, an American institution was unnecessarily thrown into a state of chaos.

Sep 05 2025

2025 All-Name Team

  • Sep 5, 2025

Fresh off of an impressive win at the prestigious Duke’s Mayo Bowl, our Minnesota Golden Gophers will look to add to their streak of eight consecutive bowl victories—the longest in the nation.

Sep 05 2025

Mike Gundy Kicks Things Off

  • Sep 5, 2025

“The only pressure I’m worried about is my tire pressure on these icy roads and when my wife asks if I’m almost home when I’m on hole 13.”

Sep 05 2025

The Union Man

  • Sep 5, 2025

A dedicated Teamster boss is at a convention in Las Vegas and decides to visit a brothel.

Sep 05 2025

The Old Cowboy

  • Sep 5, 2025

An old blind cowboy mistakenly wanders into an all-girl biker bar.

Sep 05 2025

Sven And Ole At Work

  • Sep 5, 2025

Sven came over to help Ole put new siding on his house. They put on their nail aprons and grabbed their hammers.

Aug 06 2025

Minnesota Fraud

  • Aug 6, 2025

Up here in flyover country, our Midwestern innocence has been shattered by the constant drum of fraud schemes exposed for the past two-plus years.

Aug 06 2025

Scott Thompson: Fishing Guide

  • Aug 6, 2025

Hi, I’m Scott Thompson. I’ve been a guide on the Brainard area lakes for more than 25 years.

Aug 06 2025

Another Satirical Article? C’mon Phil!

  • Aug 6, 2025

Back by tepid demand, another “Onion” attempt by your At Random editor!

Aug 06 2025

Pete Rose Quotes

  • Aug 6, 2025

Current members of the Hall of Fame on the Veteran’s Committee will be able to vote on Rose’s membership in 2027.

Aug 06 2025

Fatherly Advice

  • Aug 6, 2025

A man approaches a priest after mass. “Father,” he says, “I need some advice.”

Aug 06 2025

Whales

  • Aug 6, 2025

A teacher was starting a new unit and asked her class what they knew about whales. One little girl raised her hand.

Aug 06 2025

Circus Adoption

  • Aug 6, 2025

A husband and wife who worked for the circus went to an adoption agency, but the social workers had doubts about their suitability.

Jul 07 2025

Iran So Far Away

  • Jul 7, 2025

In June, much to the dismay of peaceniks on the left and ardent isolationists on the right, the U.S. dipped its toes into another foreign conflict. The success of that mission is still very much in question and, surprisingly, repercussions have been limited.

Jul 07 2025

Three Finger Eddie's 5th of July Sale!

  • Jul 7, 2025

Keep that patriotic spirit going through the rest of the summer!

Jul 07 2025

Golfer Max Homa Is A Funny Guy

  • Jul 7, 2025

Had a few caddies hit me up recently hoping to team up. They heard they usually get weekends off which is apparently a great selling point.

Jul 07 2025

Another “Onion” Article

  • Jul 7, 2025

At a neighbor’s 45th birthday party last Friday, Dennis Murphy—the neighborhood jokester—couldn’t resist cracking, “Wow, Kevin, 45 years old! What was the Depression like, Grandpa?”

Jul 07 2025

The Milkman

  • Jul 7, 2025

A woman read an article that claimed bathing in milk would make her skin beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons.

Jul 07 2025

The New Doctors

  • Jul 7, 2025

Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.